


Finding my place

by SheenaWilde



Series: My Choice. My Spirit. [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:00:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6731398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheenaWilde/pseuds/SheenaWilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michel de Chevin joined the Inquisition after Imshael was defeated. Now he is trying to cope with all the emotions in him as best as he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding my place

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I will eventually write something happy with this pairing.
> 
> So this was originally a part of what now will be the third part of this series. It's jut a short intermezzo, the next part is going to be longer. Although I cannot say when I will upload it.
> 
> Also, I still haven't read the whole The Masked Empire, only parts of it, so sorry for any inaccuracies.

It had taken a while for the Inquisition to find him something to do. Not that he minded that too much – it had given him time to get to know the place and the people, but also to grieve. Skyhold was huge, so Michel spent his days wandering around, getting to know the layout and the people. Sometimes even the Inquisitor would stop by and check on him, politely inquiring about his mood and if his quarters were adequate before hurrying on to deal with more important matters. Sometimes he joined the training of the Inquisition soldiers and scouts, sometimes he just chose a dummy and hit it until his arms hurt.

Michel also spent many evenings in the tavern of Skyhold, drinking and chatting with the soldiers there who seemed very much interested in him. At first they were slow and tentative about approaching him, but once they realized Michel was open to idle conversation, they too were braver. They asked him about his past, his training as a chevalier, his time in service of Empress Celene. Oh, everybody wanted to hear about his downfall, but not out of malice, only out of pure curiosity. It was different from the Orlesian court and politics he was used to, so refreshing and calming.

So he answered every question patiently, talked about what they asked of him, and after a while he found he was rather enjoying it. The company was good, dedicated and loyal soldiers with honest questions, and while he was with them, even though he had to speak about his past, his mind was averted from the thoughts of him. Of the painful memories he didn’t wish to remember, at least not during the day if he was already having nightmares about them.

Nights definitely weren’t his favorite time of day. Even if he tried sleeping as little as possible, he couldn’t exhaust himself so much as to not have nightmares… All those dark thoughts suppressed in the back of his mind… Painful screams and shouts everywhere and he was useless, he couldn’t help. Then there he was, possessed, a puppet of some demon and slaughtered innocents at the whim of it. But then there were those where he woke up shaking after, holding back his tears – the ones about his past year, of gentle touches and heated moments, his name being whispered into his ear or cried out to the air, a dark pair of eyes staring into his as if it were watching his soul… Most nights, as he was sitting there sleeplessly, he couldn’t decide which were worse.

He still wore his armor around Skyhold, although he dressed lighter for the nightly drinks. Simple breeches and a plain shirt with a vest or a doublet, and yet he could still feel the hungry eyes undressing him at every second he spent in the tavern. At first he had thought the interest was purely out of curiosity for his story, but by now he realized it wasn’t only that. He wasn’t a stupid man, he noticed when he was flirted with.

This evening was no different either. As Michel walked in and ordered a beer, he was delighted to see that soldier there again who he had been watching for a while. At first he had been just another Inquisition soldier he was talking to sometimes, but then he noticed those dark, deep green eyes, those dark brown locks… Even if his skin was slightly tanned by the sun and not as pale as… Well, he still reminded Michel of him enough. So he smiled at him and talked to him and got closer to him with every night. But tonight he was done with playing – he wanted more.

With a beer in his hand, Michel walked over to Daylen, only acknowledging the others with a friendly smile and a nod. The soldier smiled at him widely when he stopped next to his table.

“Mind if I join?” Michel asked with the most charming smile he could manage while looking right at his beautiful, dark eyes. So far this had seemed to work, he hoped it would tonight as well.

“Ah, of course not! Please, sit!” Daylen replied, all too eager to say yes to him. 

Michel took a seat across from him, then started a light conversation, just as he would any other night. Only he was openly flirting, something he had never done before. He downright rejected the offers he had gotten in Skyhold so far, not being able to even think about getting another lover for the time being. But celibacy wasn’t helping anything and maybe sex would take his mind off him… Or make him remember him more clearly. Whichever it was, he didn’t care. He wanted to feel something other than sadness, anything else but this dull ache in his chest.

As time passed, Michel brought themselves another round of beer. Then another. Neither of them was drunk but Michel started to feel the alcohol in his head, making the conversation just a bit easier, making the weights just a little lighter on his chest.

“Would you care for a walk outside? It’s a nice night” Michel said finally with a seductive smile when there was a small pause in their chatter. This had Daylen stare at him in surprise and anticipation for a few moments.

“Yes, of course. That’s a very good idea” he nodded then, mirroring the ex-chevalier’s smile, and immediately started to stand up.

It was indeed a beautiful night outside. The moon was huge and it lighted up the fortress’ garden. Michel led them up to the battlements, past the patrolling scouts, and towards his quarters. He didn’t know if Daylen knew this or merely hoped so, but he seemed to hardly be able to hold himself back from touching Michel, given the hungry looks he was sending his way. Michel just smiled at him and continued with the smalltalk. Oh, he was enjoying the attention despite himself. He enjoyed the predatory look that was sent his way, the near-demanding gaze never leaving him, just like it was a demon’s… It certainly wasn’t healthy but he enjoyed it.

Michel stopped in front of the door to his room and faced Daylen, giving him a small smirk.

“Well, this is my room. I bid you goodbye, unless you wanted to come in…”

That was all he needed and Daylen was on him, pushing him against the cold stone wall with his hands on his hips, kissing him hungrily but not too forcefully. Michel immediately returned it, sliding a hand into Daylen’s dark brown locks, pulling him closer, while his other hand reached for the handle, pushing the door open as he dragged the soldier in.

A bitter feeling tugged at his heart as he looked up to undress him, lacking the familiarity of movements he was used to… But once all clothes were shed and they were on the bed, heated, naked bodies moving against each other, none of his worries mattered.

The morning wasn’t near as awkward as he feared. Daylen smiled as they woke up, then got up to get his clothes while they talked about the previous night. Fortunately, they were on the same page – the soldier didn’t seem to have false hopes of this meaning anything.

“If you want to repeat it, you know where to find me” Daylen said with a smirk, looking back at Michel who was still lying on the bed, then opened the door and left.

The ex-chevalier just laid back to the bed after that, pulling the blanket on himself and ready to succumb to sleep again. He had a night completely rid of hunting nightmares, of any sorts of dream. Ah, yes, he definitely wanted to repeat it.

Later that day as he was training with the soldiers when he saw a figure clad in purple cloak stop outside the ring. He looked up to see Sister Nightingale watching him intensely, curiously. But she was obviously there with a purpose – Michel hadn’t seen her leave her room, unless for a meeting with the Inquisitor. So he excused himself and walked over to her, interested in what she had to say to him.

“Sister Nightingale, how may I be of service?” Michel asked as he bowed before her.

“The Inquisitor has decided on a task for you” she said with a small smile on her lips. “Solas would like to hear all you have to say about the Eluvians.”


End file.
